When people speak, do you listen? How much of what\u2019s communicated do you internalize?<\/p>\n
Recently, I was talking to someone who was not very present in the conversation. Even though he\u00a0would nod and say \u201cYeah\u201d the whole time we communicated, his\u00a0follow-up comments would reveal he\u00a0wasn\u2019t listening 100%.
\nListening is an important skill \u2013 more so than one may realize. We use it all the time \u2013 at work with our managers and co-workers, in presentations, in relationships, in social settings, with our families. Believe it or not, we even use it when watching TV and films!
\nListening is especially important. When I\u2019m consulting\u00a0my clients, it\u2019s important I listen and understand their problems or requirements, so I could ask the appropriate questions to forward their business. When I\u2019m communicating with the readers at my blog, it\u2019s important I read between the lines and \u201clisten\u201d to what they\u2019re trying to say, because words alone may not convey their intended messages.<\/p>\n
Here are a few\u00a0tips on how to be a better listener:<\/p>\n
Remove All Distractions<\/strong> Be Present<\/strong> To be a good listener, you have to be present. Being present means not being preoccupied physically and \u00a0not being preoccupied mentally. The former means to remove distractions, as I mentioned in my first tip. The latter requires you to clear your mind of other thoughts and focus on the person speaking. This means to stop thinking about the argument you had at work with your co-worker in the morning, the report you\u2019ve yet to finish, or where you\u2019re going to have your dinner, and to pay attention to what\u2019s being communicated now.<\/p>\n Wait for the Person to Finish Speaking (in the start)<\/strong> Don\u2019t Assume Anything<\/strong> Clarify to ensure you got what the person is saying<\/strong> Ask Questions<\/strong> When people speak, do you listen? How much of what\u2019s communicated do you internalize? Recently, I was talking to someone who was not very present in the conversation. Even though he\u00a0would nod and say \u201cYeah\u201d the whole time we communicated, his\u00a0follow-up comments would reveal he\u00a0wasn\u2019t listening 100%. Listening is an important skill \u2013 more so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":69,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-68","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-help"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/listen-better-150x150.png?fit=%2C&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=68"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":70,"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68\/revisions\/70"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/69"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=68"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=68"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faststart-program.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=68"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nIn this day and age, in our quest to get as much done as we can, we multi-task the whole time \u2013 from web browsing, checking emails, replying emails, working, talking on the phone, fiddling with our phones, writing in our notebooks, etc. So when people approach us to talk, it\u2019s natural we add that to the list of things we\u2019re doing at the moment, vs. giving them our full attention.<\/p>\n
\nAre you present when you\u2019re around other people? Or are you lost in your own thoughts?<\/p>\n
\nIt\u2019s good etiquette to let the other party finish what he\/she wants to say, before you butt in with your comments. I know there are times you feel you get what the person is trying to say and you can\u2019t wait to share your comments, but hold it off in the beginning of the conversation. Because the person may have other things to share but can\u2019t because you are speaking.<\/p>\n
\nAn important part of listening is not to assume. When you assume, you automatically layer over what the person says with your presumptions, which makes it near impossible to have any meaningful conversation. While the person may say cat, ultimately you can only hear dog, simply because your mind is not open to receiving new information in the first place. You like dogs and dislike cats.<\/p>\n
\nAt every stage of the conversation, clarify to ensure you got the message right. This can be done by simply paraphrasing what he\/she just said, in your own words. Sometimes we may take away one message when it\u2019s really something else, and it\u2019s not good to assume without clarifying first<\/p>\n
\nQuestions are highly important in any conversation. Firstly, there are things which the person does not share (either because he\/she thinks you already know them or because he\/she thinks they are irrelevant) that you can only uncover by asking questions. Secondly, questions lets you get more information about specific areas you are unclear about, such that you get a better picture of what the person is saying.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"